Having 4 boys who are all different! All my kids are very loving and I would consider caring young men to this day. But they all show it and want to receive it in different ways! When they were younger it was easier to accomplish making the emotional connections. Now that they are young adults we are learning different ways to still connect!

I have 1 son that is very emotionally driven like myself and is sensitive and welcomes a hug or an out of the blue phone call just to say “Hey! I was thinking of you and wanted to tell you I love you!”  I don’t know if it is because he is so much like me, but we just get each other as far as emotions and needing to talk things through to gain understanding or just to be heard. It gives him a sense of calm when you just listen to him. Which I will drop everything I am doing so I can be there for him emotionally if he needs me. Then I have 1 son that is very loving and is on a mission to save the world! Which I admire very much! But he’s not one that needs to talk things through very often. So, just a hug or a check in phone call is all he needs. He just can talk about something one time if it’s bothering him and he’s pretty much has it under control. If only I was like that! Lol But a quick check in phone call is sufficient for him these days! Then I have 2 of my boys are what I like to say “Sharers” but they don’t feel the need to do it that often. They are both very loving human beings but don’t need to talk but every so often to make their emotional cup full! Which for their Dad and myself is a tough one! Lol We both like to talk to all of our boys several times a week if possible if nothing more to check in and say we love them! They all 4 have learned to accept our weekly calls with love and grace! But definitely don’t skip a beat when we get to see them in person to give them a hug and kiss on the cheek! Sit down and have one on one talks with them is a must too! It gives their Dad and I a sense of calmness as well after they visit to know we are continuing our emotional connection with each of them. Which I am so happy that we have found a happy medium since we are going through a new phase of life with our kids right now. Having young adults that don’t live with you anymore is a challenge sometimes! So, here is where I look at the top 5 things we did and still try to do with our kids in some part as much as we can as their new phase of life has begun!

1.  Show physical affection. 

Take time to really connect with your child. Sit down and allow your child to crawl on your lap. Kiss your child on the cheek when you tuck them into bed! 

2.  Be fully present.

We know what we need to do to make sure this happens but sometimes it’s not easy. Put the phone down, turn off the TV or stop doing the dishes. Engage in the conversations to learn more about them, no matter their age!

3.  Be Kind.

There isn’t one doubt that we love our kids but without kindness sometimes doesn’t allow our kids to feel loved. Stop and think before you speak because the words or your tone of voice has an effect of your child. Young children can read your facial expressions and pick up on your emotions more than words most of the time.

4.  Discipline calmly.

The best time to redirect or discipline is when you are calm and not screaming. Screaming might appear to be effective it’s really not. Keeping our cool while we shape our children. Helps us to discipline with firmness instead of harshness. Even for my young adult kids a calm conversation works better than a loud one.

5.  Laugh with them!

A strong parent- child relationship needs a good dose of laughter! Laughing with your children at what they think is funny! Point out things that you think are funny. Finding the humor in situations will give everyone a sense of relief especially if it falls in the middle of a heated conversation and you need to lighten things up a bit. Or just finding time to play and tickle your kids to have a moment of family play time!

I am going to add a BONUS tip that our family believes in the greatest!

*PRAY with them! * When we pray with our children we are showing them that we rely on God. This teaches them that they can rely on God too and that God loves all of us!